A heart-shaped PB&J sandwich taught me a powerful lesson about parenting with grace and giving my children and God more than my leftovers.
There are days when being a mom feels almost effortless.
And then there are the days when you’re simply in survival mode.
This was one of those days.
I wasn’t feeling well. I hadn’t prepared for the day the way I normally would, and it seemed like everything was harder than it should have been. Before I knew it, my frustration had spilled over onto the people I loved most.
My children.
As lunchtime rolled around, I stood in the kitchen trying to decide what to make. I settled on the usual peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
But on a whim, I grabbed a heart-shaped cookie cutter and cut the bread into a heart. It was a small thing. Just an ordinary lunch made a little more special.
Little Hearts and Big Smiles
When I placed the sandwiches in front of my kiddos, their little faces lit up.
You would have thought I had made something extraordinary instead of the same ole PB&J they had eaten many times before.
They loved it.
But, as I watched them, my heart began to ache.
Only a short time earlier, I had been impatient. I’d raised my voice. I had allowed my bad attitude to set the tone for our morning. None of it had been their fault.
Standing there in the kitchen, I knew I needed to do something. So I apologized.
As I looked my kids, my eyes welled up with tears as I told them I was sorry for yelling. I asked them to forgive me.
Those aren’t always easy words to say, especially as a parent.
But our children don’t need perfect moms. They need moms who are willing to admit when they’re wrong, ask for forgiveness, and learn what parenting with grace really looks.
My Lunch Was the Leftovers
After cutting all those little hearts from the bread, I gathered up the leftover pieces.
The crusts.
Rather than throwing them away, I put them on my own plate for lunch. Waste not, want not, right?
As I sat there looking at the scraps of bread, God quietly impressed something on my heart.
Those crusts looked an awful lot like what I’d been giving my children all morning. They hadn’t been getting my best.
They’d been getting whatever patience I had left. Whatever kindness I had left. Whatever joy I had left after I had spent so much energy on my own frustration and bad attitude.
I realized that, emotionally, I had been serving my children leftovers.
Not because I didn’t love them. But because I had allowed my circumstances to determine what I gave them.
At that moment, I made a simple decision. For the rest of that day, they were going to get the heart. Not the leftovers.
Then God Turned the Lesson Toward Me
As I continued eating my lunch, another thought came to mind. How often do I do the very same thing with God?
How often do I promise myself I’ll spend time with Him after everything else is finished?
After the laundry. The dishes. The emails. After all the responsibilities have been taken care of.
Too often, He gets whatever happens to be left at the end of the day. The leftovers.
But God isn’t interested in the scraps of our time or attention. He wants our hearts.
Not because He needs them, but because He loves us. He desires a relationship with us – not whatever energy we happen to have left after we’ve poured ourselves into everything else.
Beginning Again
The beautiful thing is that God doesn’t ask for a perfect heart. If He did, none of us could offer it.
Instead, He invites us to come to Him just as we are. Even after we’ve failed.
That afternoon, I apologized to my children, and I experienced His grace all over again.
The day hadn’t started well. And I couldn’t change the morning.
But by God’s grace, I was able to choose differently for the rest of the day.
And tomorrow, His mercies are always new again!
I still think about those heart-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from time to time. Not because they were anything remarkable.
But because God used something as ordinary as a piece of bread to remind me of an extraordinary truth.
My children don’t need my leftovers. They need my heart. And so does the God who first gave His heart for me.
So let me leave you with the same question I still ask myself from time to time:
Who’s getting your leftovers?
Maybe it’s your spouse.
Or your children.
Maybe it’s a friend.
Or maybe it’s God.
Wherever you find yourself today, remember this: you don’t have to be a perfect mom, a perfect wife, or a perfect friend. His grace is enough, and His mercies are new every morning.
Today is a great day to begin again!
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:22-23
This post was originally published on May 8, 2009.
Mommy2EME
Love this! What an excellent reminder for busy Moms when we tend to get stressed and frustrated so easily. Thanks for such a great illustration and reminder of how much God deserves, too!
Savvy Little Women - Kate
Love this…so true! I have really been feeling this way lately with my girls, I lose my patience so often. Thanks for this reminder!
mholgate
Jenn, I’m so glad that you linked up and invited us to coffee this week. Thank you for the reminder!
Your analogy made me think of a song by Lifehouse. Are you familiar with them? The song I’m thinking of is a prayer to God. The name of the song is “Breathing” and the bridge goes like this: “I don’t want a thing from you. Bet you’re tired of me waiting for the scraps to fall off your table to the ground. I just want to be here now…” Anyway, I think that’s how I am sometimes. I am just waiting for God’s scraps when He wants to fill me up with so much more.
Have a blessed weekend!
-Melissa
Mama Jenn
Karen,
I am not sure if you will ever see this, but thank you so much for reminding me about this post. I re-read it and I am literally in tears right now!!! What a great reminder!!!
Karen Edelblute
I have to share this with you- I have been doing daycare for 4 years now and my thoughts on it were this: 1. I can have ‘friends’ for my kids to play with and 2. I can help my family out financially 3. I can pay to have MY two daughters go to a private christian school with the money I bring in.
But in that, my kids ‘missed out’…and so did I. I missed my oldest daughter’s first Christmas program (because I was at home ‘caring’ for other people’s children…thinking that I was giving them something GOOD because they were able to go to a really good school) I also missed out on not being able to go into their classrooms and be apart of that experience with them. And at the end of the day….I was frazzled, I was grumpy and I just wanted my own kids to ‘go away-go outside and play or go watch tv’. (To just leave me alone because I had given ‘all I had’ 10 hours/day to ‘provide’ for my kids. But when it came right down to it…I was ‘giving them my leftovers’-and I hated that. It finally ‘dawned’ on me and my husband I have decided to ‘bring our children home’ and homeschool them. Give them our ‘firsts’ and not my leftovers.
I just hope and pray that I can remember that during our ‘hard days’ during homeschooling and I appreciate (and they appreciate) what GOD has given to us. EACH OTHER. HUGS!
Cortney Can
Oh, how touching. I too am having one of those days! I wish I could just go home but your story has picked me up a bit.
joyceandnorm
That is a great thought. Thanks for sharing it with us. Happy mother’s day!
LydiaCate
Jenn, What a fabulous word picture! I think as mom’s we all need that reminder from time to time. It’s definately an encouragement for me. I’ll be thinking on that one into this next week for sure!
Have a blessed Mother’s Day!
Lydia Cate
Future Mama
What a great message! I hope I can remember this when I’m a mommy 🙂 then again… I should remember this NOW being a wife and friend!
Crazy Lady Cheryl
What a beautiful post. It brought tears to my eyes…as there are so many times I give my family the leftovers. What better time to STOP than now…Mother’s Day weekend. I love being a mother and need to spend more time ACTING like I love what I do.
Have a great Mother’s Day!
secondofwett
Goodness…two sets of twins plus one…..and I thot I was busy…..I truly hope that you have a wonderful Mother’s Day!
mholgate
Jenn, I’m so glad that you linked up and invited us to coffee this week. Thank you for the reminder!
Your analogy made me think of a song by Lifehouse. Are you familiar with them? The song I’m thinking of is a prayer to God. The name of the song is “Breathing” and the bridge goes like this: “I don’t want a thing from you. Bet you’re tired of me waiting for the scraps to fall off your table to the ground. I just want to be here now…” Anyway, I think that’s how I am sometimes. I am just waiting for God’s scraps when He wants to fill me up with so much more.
Have a blessed weekend!
-Melissa
Camille
What a fantastic illustration. I am guilty of this very thing all too often. Thanks for the push I needed to give my kids and God my heart first.
Rachel Anne
Awww Man!! That is the BEST illustration ever! I hadn’t thought about things that way, but you are so right…how many times do I give my kids the leftovers? What a perfect picture, and a great story to share.
Savvy Little Women - Kate
Love this…so true! I have really been feeling this way lately with my girls, I lose my patience so often. Thanks for this reminder!